Why Do I Have To Earn Your Love: A Letter To My Mother.

I feel like I’m twelve again
Wounds reopen
And your words are cutting deeper
Was it because I was born a woman
You treat me this way?
Is it because I didn’t turn out like the obedient daughter
You wish you had?
Or the strong son you wished you had birthed?
Everyday I wonder why I am still here
Maybe I should grow my hair long
And cook and clean
Then maybe your love
Wouldn’t cut so deeply.